The Tangent Line: Bisexual World

We said awhile ago that Arden is now a bisexual and not a gay. Even he is a bisexual; he still had pagtingin to his same sex, especially to his bi peers. September 2, 2009, it was night at the dormitory. While Arden was busy texting to his other clan, an e-form (electronic form), was sent to Arden, and it show there that it is a pure bisexual clan. So, he tried to enter there. Just a few minutes, he was welcomed by the other members of the clan. In modern Filipino terms, clan is now a social network in mobiles wherein, bisexuals, bicurious, effems, and discreet gays can express their feelings and thoughts. There Arden met Christian Dave Barnido nicknamed and codenamed, Bharnie.

This is the story goes between Arden and Bharnie and the rest of his bisexuality world. “Nabigla kong nasabi na clan, through a group message, na ‘bharnie, tayo na huh!’ then he replied to me saying ‘bahala ka’. But I don’t know what comes into my mind na nasabi ko ang ganoon sa clan. But its ok para hindi na ako mainggit sa ibang clan members. Almost here in the clan, may mga so-called buddies na sila.” But Arden realized that when he is calling Bharnie may times, he felt like he is being played off. After that, Arden liked to use up to be in hook-ups even inside of the clan. Making relationships here and there, even outside the clan, “namanaged ko all of my flings at the same time, though marami sila.” One day, his friend in the clan, revealed Arden’s really is, “Masyado siyang possessive. Ayaw niya na nasasaktan siya kahit nasanay na.” True. Christmas eve came, Mino invited me to have the Misa de gallo here at Santa Rosa Chuch just infront of the Plaza ng Sta. Rosa. I told to myself, ‘sana siya na lang ang naging boyfriend ko. Gwapo naman siya, very entertaining, hindi ako medaling magsawa sa kanya. Pero choosy siya.’ Right after the mass, we spend our time at the plaza, while he is smoking beside me. Dumating pa nga sa point na madami kaming na-radar na mga bi dito sa plaza, meron ding gays na halata, crossdressers, at trans. Medyo dunistansya kami then he is the one who make the first move sa’kin na PDA. Upon reaching my house, 1:30am na yun, naglasing ako. And all I can remember that I am renouncing the name of Bharnie ng paulit-ulit. Then Xmas day, at MOA with my family and my cousin Chen, we spend the whole day there but I had a nagging feeling that I want to do. Pinapunta ko ng MOA si bharnie, siyempre para maipakilala ulet siya. When my parents saw Bharnie, nagmurmur si papa, tinignan from top to toe si Bharnie at tinaasan ng kilay (taray ng lola!). One day, his clan member courted him, “Sabi ni Emon, ‘kung kaya ko daw bang makapaghintay sa kanya.’ At first I don’t know what he really meant to say, but only I feel is he is courting to me. Hanggang sa hindi ko na kaya pang maghintay. Bernch came into the scene. Just by he saw my thread message in a social network, he joined to our clan. Then few days later, JR came into the scene. JR came to the clan January 2, 2010. Then he said to me that he had a crush on me. Then it came to the point that he is courting me, At first I snob all of his sides, later I don’t know what came inside me that I liked him. Kasi ako, madaling mafall-in-love in a just plain I LOVE YOU, pero yung talagang meant niyang sabihin yon. Until an issue between me, Bernch, and JR erupted. Itong si JR, nagpaparinig na ako yung mahal niya but he doesn’t revealing the name yet. Until I can’t take it anymore. As the whole clan got the news, Bernch suddenly quitted to the clan, ‘I need to focus onto my work, and to my son.’ May anakis na pala si Bernch. So then, JR and I officially naging kami, January 5, 2010. 3 days later, we decided to meet-up. Binalak namin ni Mitch to go to our friends’ school at DLSU-Dasma. So I told JR to go to Dasma. As we see each other, first impression ko before to JR is a tall, handsome and quite mayabang. But it is the opposite, he is fat, ‘4-eyed’ and so tahimik pero palakuwento. Until not by January 17, 2010 he mingled to another member of the clan, and the worst of it, napapunta pa siya kay Bharnie. Sa taong kinaaayawan ko na kahit minsan, sa kanya pa ako nasasaktan. Recent updates ko sa ganitong orientation ko, that I want to have an official pakikipagbalikan kay Bryan sa March 29. Then celebrate the post-valentine sa dream place ko in Manila, sa likod ng MOA, in an afternoon sunset, tapos mahangin, then spend the cold windy night with him.
“Dumating din sa buhay ko that my parents rejected me for what I am. Siyempre their expectations to their first born is so very high, siya yung magpapatapos sa mga kapatid niya sa pag-aaral, siya yung tutulong sa parents in all their expenses. Suddenly, for them, it’s like their dreams we’re bombed by the Talibans and crushed it into pieces. For me, even though I’m like this, I can still prove what their expectations to me. Only an expressive creature can share his feelings to others through talking and writing mediums. That’s why I am deeply inlove to my talent, the writing. Writing, eh. isang nakaktamad na gawain. But it’s not. For me, through writing I can express whatever I want. Dito ko nilalabas ang lahat ng pain and sama ng loob ko sa parents, sa friends, past relationships, even to myself. Even though I’m almost to burst my hands in writing novels, still I will pursue it until my hands are tired and old enough to stop what ever it writes.★